And nothing much has changed.
First year of college done with, and as such am realising i've missed out on so many opportunities, many of which were probably good things to avoid (i.e. detrimental in the long run, mostly re: me and tom). In a similar vein, will miss some people for the wrong reasons next year (i.e: 'he's leaving Biology so i won't have any chance.' Not likely i would have had much of a chance, or that i would have acted on it if it turned out i did, but that's another story for another time). There are other similar cases, be it that they're actually leaving college or that i'll lose touch though class re-shufflage... and almost all of them are boys, not all for the same reason as Biology example above... Although now i think of it, there's probably an aspect of that in every case.
What else...
I decided I wanted to study Philosophy at Uni, and that i'd really like to go to Cambridge or St Andrews.
Then realised there are about 3 other degrees i would also quite like (Music Production, Biology, Photography) and practically nowhere offers joint honours with any combination of 2 of these 4.
Still undecided as of yet - will probably end up with philosophy, but never quite feel completely fulfilled. Probably end up in philosophy of science/bioethics anyway, so kind of covering 2 bases in the long run there.
...
Tom and I celebrated our 1 year - I got us a weekend away in Whitby (this weekend actually, weather better be good), he made me an electro-acoustic bass guitar. No surprise then that I felt deeply crap about the calibre of my gift. Oh, also got us tickets for Ed Byrne, who was very, very funny, and looked oddly attractive when bending over a table mimicking Scottish porn.
...
Decided I hated Penny Porter, and, as such, am now ready to abandon German altogether, which is a shame, because I was actually getting rather good.
...
Ironically, of the 5 exams I have sat so far (one more to go), the only ones after which I haven't felt the desire to kill myself were my German exams.
...
I am seeing Take That in 25 days (taking today as the 3rd, as the day is in fact already 4 hours old). I am no longer ashamed to admit I am massively excited.
...
I have been drawn back into the world of fan fiction, and I get the feeling it is going to consume my summer, along with reading massive amounts of (hopefully) engaging philosophical texts, Derren Brown (another oddly attractive one, despite being gay - it's the mystery methinks), and the whole Harry Potter series, just because. Hope for summer to also include: wine, getting a tan for god's sake, permitted promiscuity (I can dream), another trip to Beadnell, camping, gardening (don't ask), and maybe getting a job?
...
Reckon that's it. Oh, am doing an extended project next year, entitled (something like) "Pleasure and Meaning: A Philosophical Study" should be interesting.
...
That is it now. Considering whether there is any point sleeping now it's quarter past 4...
...
Yes there is. 'Night.

So I am overweight. I know that.

I have been trying really hard over the past 2 months i.e. going to the gym, eating less crap etc, and have lost 10lbs altogether, which puts me at 9st 12. I am still trying to lose weight, and I WILL be 9st or below by the time college comes around.

What gets me is the fact that I get more remarks about my size now than I did when I was 10st 8. It's that sort of treatment that gets me depressed and makes me wallow and stay at home and eat chocolate instead of getting anything done.

I'm just starting to like how I look, and I don't need people shitting all over that, thanks.

xx

Statementyness.
Stolen from Charly/Stefffffff. Innit.
Go on, Guess. You know you want to. 

Here's who's there. Figure out the missing one, put them in the right order, and you get a Crunchie.
(ones in colour have been correctly guessed)

Charly
Katie
Pete
Dial 9
Faye
Grem
Jake
Me
KCs

???

1. Well now. We should do that more often.

2. Moments come which are only right if spent with you. Moments which generally involve much gibbering at the sight of certain men/sound of certain music. You make me smile, without fail. Thank you.

3. I know how up-myself this sounds, but I hope you're over me. I miss lunchtimes on the field, and reminiscing about stuff. I hope the uncomfortableness will pass, because I get the feeling that I'm gonna need you.

4. Well, we're just getting started really, aren't we? Already you've got me through immense amounts of stuff, and I know you'll be there in times to come. I am someone amazing when i'm involved in anything with you, and I can't lose her now. I never thought I could be a part of something so mint.

5. You're a fool. But I loves ya. Stand up for yourself once in a while though, because a time's gonna come when that little shy laugh and a "oh, sorry!" aren't going to count for much.

6. You're a foo'. But I loves ya MORE. There's so much I want to know, and even more I want to tell you. It'll happen, in time. Until then, just... keep me safe.

7. I want to know you better. I think I could probably spend the rest of my life with you and not know you half as well as i'd like. Not that i'm particularly interested in spending the rest of my life with you, there's just so much to find out, you know?

8. I'm scared about how attractive I find you. o.0

9. Sort yourself out. You're going to ruin everything you've ever wanted, and sooner or later, he'll see it. And that'll be the end of you.

10. Thank you for the magic you have created. You bring so much joy to so many. One day...

Hallo von meine Deutsch Stunde!

Yeah, i'm in German. But the bell has gone.

SO i'ma going.

Nell says hi. (Y)

Taraa.
xx